Do You See Me?

I never said I didn't enjoy that song.
Being alone doesn't mean
your heart needs blood to pump
the subsconcious peripheral
Visions of ecstacy.

Waking up in your arms does not
so easily lead to our heads
meeting in a world of dreams,
faces so much alike each other
Fantasies taking place in reality.
This is dissonance.
A quiet madness
I've created to ease
the anxiety.

Orange puffiness
A peed on cloud
disguised as a coat,
swept back curls of salt and pepper
Brown loafers pinned in
a gold clasp.,
Which is merely decorative.
Laughter and sadness
masked by the need to simply
not care
apathy in the form of basic bliss.

I'm sucking on my cheeks
watching the ink swirl upon
these conforming, lined pages
Belle & Sebastian moaning
beautiful nonsense.
Once in awhile I look to
see what stop it is
So many emotions
cured by these numerable
sweeps of passion,
pulsating anticipation
in the messy angles.

If I have been poisoned
by an insect
a toad
a craft amphibian.
Let this be the worst poison
I will have to cure.

Do you see me?

Cradling My Tenderness In Wishes

I continue to fantasize
the curve of my body curling
down to be emcompassed
by a neverending sheet
of white silk, transparant yet
masking my skin-tender from
Abuse and hardship.
I fold and the silk envelops
my sorrow.
Insecurities.

I am a child. It's heart in the breast
of a woman
full grown,
stripped of motherhood.

Everything lingers. In the heart.
The mind.
All of our struggles and hardships
Shaped and tucked away in the nooks
created in the deepest
most buried compartments of
my consciousness.
I pray for relief.
To no God.
No. To a dream.
Of silk chiffoned silence,
Hushed mouths,
Repressed anger.

Truth masked
in comedy.

I Knew It Then

In the looping rhythm and melody of El Ten,
The unspoken, unwritten lyrics of my heart
Wait impatiently to dispel their true intentions.
The pen stops and my dreams (fantasies) capture my focus
Unveiling hidden wishes
Your hand finding mine in the darkness for we rarely see
eachother's faces in the light of day.The well in my mind never runs out
Of ink when you're on it.
I won't allow myself to seek you out,
Fear stills my feet from stepping onto
The platform of rejection. Its just
These moments when I find myself
Seeking out the comfort of sleep beneath the glow
Of a setting sun that the passion
I feel fails to dissipate and I inflict the pain
Upon my fingers, wrist locking in place,
Wishing I could just forget your beautiful imperfections.

The turning point that is our lives
Will inevitably draw us upon opposite paths,
And knowing I cannot follow you
For need to seize my own
I remain still , rocking my feet from toes to heel
Wrapping myself in an embrace as you
Drift further and further.
Baby, I call you dude to remind myself
Of the reality
And while I may be just another woman for whom you failed
To feel nothing but lust and
Perhaps good company,
Yearning for adventure
I do not mind
For I know I've made a deep enough imprint
So that I will never be forgotten.