You and Me

The elusive wanderer
Multi lingual chameleon constantly told you simply don’t belong
Your love for the road has made you a ghost
Yet your warmth soothes even the coldest hearts
Rendering icicles of these dated tears
Set to crack crumble and tear down these walls
With the comfort of your company.

The angel I met at a local bar
My outfit a myriad of hues and fabrics
Complete with straw hat, clearly
I wasn’t expecting the shadow of your gaze
To illuminate my foggy and often
Invisible self confidance
The intimacy’s intensity remains alarming.

I like being called Baby and
I don’t mind the heat your palms provide my thighs
Fingertips as ten strong shovels sifting away the dry soil
Tongues sweeping away the flavors
Of my unsavory past
I thrive on the spontaneity you embrace while smiling
To see my courage inspires your own mid morning trysts.
During this rut one reward is orgasms.

I thank you for not breaking the connections
Our eyes made
Allowing me to prod my defenses up on a flag of words
I tiptoe an apology in the form of a kiss
And welcome any future pleasures
May they touch upon the innards to expose the trigger
Whereupon lies the much desired explosion.


Fear is EVERYWHERE, so where's the cure?!

In my life there have been many opportunities, and choices. I am in love with love. I meet more and more people and find myself identifying their fears, which so often stem from human relationships.
Less than a year ago, I came very close to giving my heart to a man I felt was worthy only to see that he was too overcome by fear (paralyzed in fact) that he preferred to remain standing in place contemplating his next step. Nearly a year later, and he still feels the need to create spreadsheet after spreadsheet, list after list in the attempt to figure out the answers with regard to his own destiny.
My internal question is how do you figure that out if you dont take chances? how does a musician create a love ballad, inspire tears upon hearing a song without taking chances? How do we cross those (admitedly) intimidating thresholds without not just using our minds but also our hearts?

Then I look around at the people who are "tired" and "sad", and I simply don't understand why they let their fears of change and even of failure debilitate them? I'm 27, and I look and feel the best I have my entire life, but I've learned that one can never predict or control how long that lasts.

I spent an hour on the phone last night with a man who's 50 years old, lamenting that he would have to start a medication I had to take 6 years ago, and I'm telling him 'you're so lucky to have spent your best years in perfect health! " just because here he was consumed by fear of a drug I started taking at 21 for the same disease that changed my life and is now luckily later in life, changing his. But I bounced back, and while my body still heals I know that time is limited, and my will is my best asset. I wont be alone forever, and truthfully I'm not alone now.

Im ready to take chances, and see the world without fear that it may disappoint me. I believe that now is everything; Now is today, is this minute and it's never been keen on waiting for people to get over themselves enough to acknowledge that every second they hesitate, the Now simply moves on without them.But I also know its never too late to figure that out. I just wish that some people would allow themselves to see and feel how Beautiful life is during those moments when you let go of fear, and embrace all the uncertainty. That's living.

I'm so in love with love that it breaks my heart when I see how many people are too afraid to let themselves feel it.